Today would have marked my sister’s 37th birthday and almost two years that she has been gone. God has taught me a lot about grief and mourning and myself in these two years.

Grief has become a constant companion that filled the space my sister once had. My memories are painted with sadness and joy ( both necessary emotions). This period has brought me closer to God. And as I see Him in the midst of mourning, I truly understand the meaning of the verse in Psalms 34:18 that He draws near to the brokenhearted.

While death is something that separates God from man, sorrow is not. Jesus wept for Lazarus. Isaiah would prophesy that Jesus was a man of sorrow.

I thank God that He doesn’t operate like us and does not place a time limit on grief or tell me when to stop crying. Instead, He promises to bring the fullness of joy and teaches me how to bring my laments to Him.

So on days like today when I feel sad I can also feel the hope of the joy to come and the comfort of His presence.