I remember there was a Walmart I used to visit all the time. Sometimes I would buy something and sometimes I wouldn’t. I remember one day going in and not finding anything I wanted and I was suddenly feeling very aware of my state. I had a large purse big enough to stash some things in and I had been meandering around the store for several minutes. I was sure I looked suspect. I thought about the unopened pack of gum in my purse. Would they think I stole it? Would I have to buy it again? I walked out the store making sure to make eye contact and smile at the Walmart greeter. Not overly friendly to cause more suspicion…I was prepared to open my purse and show her that I hadn’t stolen anything. I walked outside and released a sigh of relief at not being caught. Welcome to my neuroses. I carried around the shame of a thief without having actually stolen anything!

In my previous post I wrote about the book called Grace for the Good Girl and how it addresses the masks we all wear. As I step into the next book, When People are Big and God is Small by Edward T. Welch, I realize that the next mask God is chipping away at is my people pleasing one. It’s me being ashamed for looking like something I am not because my image is more important to me than my character. Its wild to say that aloud. Within the first few chapters of this book, I knew that God was breaking me. He has been patiently chipping away at this mask for years and I think its finally time that I let go and allow Him to do the work.